Friday, April 8, 2011

on having boys

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Back before B was much more than a blip on our "2-3 year plan" (under "Have Kids"), if you would have asked me how many kids I wanted, I would have said 3, and I would have been very sure that at least 2 of them would be girls.

I just always assumed I'd have a daughter or two. Maybe because I have a sister who is 5 years younger than me and she's the only kind of "kid" I'd really ever known. Maybe because my mom/sister/aunt and I are so close. I'm not sure the reason, but it was just something that seemed so concrete in my mind.

Walking into our 20 week ultrasound while pregnant with B, I would have bet anyone $100 it was a girl. More than anything we were praying the baby was healthy (he was, thank God!) but I just knew it was a she-baby.

Joey, on the other hand, told me from verrrrry early on that we were only having boys. Apparently I should have listened to him since he's the one who decides these things. Ahem. With B's pregnancy, I was convinced that Joey would try to convince the OB exchange a girl for the son he knew was coming.

Thankfully, he was right, and I was so very wrong.

I felt completely ill-prepared to be a mom to a boy. I mean they have weird plumbing, and they like dirt, and they like frogs and bugs and bleh. I'm obviously Not a girly-girl, but really all I felt like I had to offer was a deep love of football. And that would only get us so far.

You know that old quote "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans"? HA. I think he got good chuckle belly laugh about my insistence I was having a daughter. Especially since now I really feel like we're hitting our stride this mom-and-son thing. He rocks my world, and nothing makes me happier than to know I'm his best girl for at least the next 35 17 14? years.

We we found out we were pregnant with Baby J, there seemed to be a universal hope that this one was a girl... from everyone except Joey and I. Joey was still adamant that he was only having boys (although he had come around and promised not to send this one back if it was a she), and I just knew in my heart of hearts that we had another boy on the way.

We were over.the.moon on hearing we were right. Sure, there was a brief moment of "hmm, that's funny, I'll (probably) never know what it's like to have a daughter, and I'm ok with that" (2 kids is what's in the cards for us, we think, for now) - but we were so very happy with the thought of two little dudes to keep us on our toes! They could share a room, share clothes, share toys. We have boys figured out now, we can do this x2!

Then we started getting comments like "oh, well that's good, now you can try for a girl".

Umm, come again?

Stuff like that made me sad - like it diminished how awesome another boy (2! boys! - MY 2 boys!) is for us. Baby J isn't a second-rate kiddo. He was wished for, and he's so very loved. And while we had zero say over whether he came out a boy or a girl, we were hoping he was a boy. To us, the "ideal family" isn't one that's comprised of a certain number of sons or a certain number of daughters. Our ideal family is the one we've been blessed with, and the one we're SO VERY EXCITED to make whole in eight short weeks.

I think girls are awesome, I mean hello, I am one. I hope that I have lots of nieces some day, and amazing daughters-in-law, and beautiful granddaughters. I'm so very glad I was wrong on that whole girl thing though.

These boys are a dream come true, a dream I never knew I had.

7 comments:

  1. Love, love, love this post. I feel everything you're saying. I was convinced I would have daughters (also have a sis 5 years younger and VERY close relationship with my mom and aunt AND john has two sisters). So when Colt came along I had a moment of "what?! what do i do with that?!".

    When I found out I was pregnant I immediately began praying for a boy. The age closeness did it for me the most but my DREAMS were filled with brothers. I desperately wanted another boy, and like you I just knew. I KNEW it was a boy.

    My best friend has a little girl, and I love her dearly. But I LOVE having two rough-and-tumble boys. Their sloppy kisses and dirty fingernails and exploring without abandon lights up my life in ways I couldn't have imagined.

    I LOVE having two boys, and I'm SO excited your house will be full of blue too. What a blessing to watch our children be brothers!!

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  2. Awesome post. I was scared to have a girl because I'm not girly girly. I would have no clue how to fix hair or do ribbons or frilly stuff. So when he was born and we were told it was a boy, I was BEYOND THRILLED. Love, love, love boys!

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  3. GREAT post - while girls rock, so do boys!

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  4. I had always thought of myself as a "girl mom" in my younger days. My best friend was so hell bent on having boys and seemed more of a "boy mom." When she had her first (a girl) she said "because of Murphy's Law I bet I'll have all girls and you'll have all boys." So, far that prediction has been right-she now has 3 girls and I have 1 boy.

    I was so nervous when I found out Smooch was going to be a boy. I only have a brother so boys aren't unfamiliar, but I just didn't know if I would click with him. Boy, did we ever and I couldn't imagine having anybody else!

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  5. Well said. We are on the same page. I love being a Mom of boys! I love my 2 boys, even when they drive me nuts! I am blessed to have two very different kids with two very different personalities.

    I get frustrated with people who say, "Ok now you can try for a girl." I mean really isn't it enough to just say, "I am so happy you have two healthy kids, what a blessing" I know they don't mean it bad but after experiencing a miscarriage between the boys, I just embraced having a healthy baby!

    I can't wait to meet baby J! Keep up the good posts, I love them.

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  6. Yes, yes and more Yes! i agree with Jessica and Tonya 10000%

    As i would love another baby, I do not care if it is a boy or a girl. And I find it completely insulting to my boys to ask if I am hoping for a girl next(sad with the poor you , you have 2 boys, weren't you hoping for a girl - Tone in their voice) .. I still get asked if I am going to try again in hopes for a girl this time ...as if Last time was a let down

    You will enjoy it! I assure you of that

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